..if you feel unable to carry yourself through your darkest hour…..there is help for you, but you need to let someone know.”
Sorry to start this week’s blog on such a sombre note but I had to honour the sadness of Robin Williams’ untimely death made even more poignant because he took his own life. The above quote was part of one of the tributes and I felt it was particularly significant.
Asking for help is one thing, but acknowledging that we need help is key. So often we are conditioned to do the stiff upper lip thing and put on a brave face when actually that is the last thing we feel like. Aaaah – feel like……………how often do we truly acknowledge how we feel , be it positive or negative?
What do you automatically answer if someone asks ‘how are you today?’
‘Fine thanks? ‘O.K thanks? ‘Not bad thanks’ – what do we actually mean? What do we actually feel? Something to ponder the next time you are asked.
How am I today?
Right now I’m feeling inspired to do this blog, a little tired because it’s been a long day but generally feeling good.
Now I’m not saying that we need to quote war & peace when asked but if someone has taken the trouble to genuinely ask how you feel I believe it deserves an honest engaging response. Sometimes however, if we know that someone is having a bad day we can get into a ‘whose had the worst day’ competition. Empathising & asking if there is anything that you can do to help them work it through might transform their day.
Feelings and especially showing feelings can often be conditioned out of us – ‘there, there don’t cry’ ‘pull yourself together’ etc etc. Sometimes we can put on an armour & shut feelings out because we are afraid of getting hurt. This can often happen after a failed relationship to prevent being hurt again. The trouble is true happiness can then pass unrecognised. More often than not we think things and over analyse too much and before we know it end up in a big dark hole.
I could write on this for pages but I just wanted to position ‘feelings’ in relation to asking for help. If we cannot or won’t acknowledge that we are feeling really low, helpless, sad, ill, etc. then we may not be able to ask for help for many, many reasons which could include fear of rejection, fear of embarrassment or because we don’t believe that we deserve to feel better or be happy. Sometimes it can feel so overwhelming and the way forward may feel outside of our capability.
That’s when we need help. Asking for and accepting help is a sign of strength not weakness. It shows true courage.
Taking responsibility for oneself can feel overwhelming when at a low ebb or in our real darkest hour or just in a state of flux. Self-help may be beyond our capability in that moment. That’s when we need to ask. That’s when we need to listen. That’s when we need to be strong & trust the outcome.
Robin will never know how his death inspired my blog. Thank you Robin for this, and for the years of fun laughter & entertainment you have given us which have helped us to laugh and feel better even if we have had a bad day.
And finally…..something new and a blast from the past!
Have you seen our gorgeous new handcrafted kids backpacks from Cole? As you may know, my daughter Harriet is a Photographer (Twirly Girl Photography). She is also the official photographer for PinkBox Boutique. We had loads of fun last week (when it was still hot & sunny) taking pictures of our new Cole backpacks with Harriet’s daughter Gracie and some of Gracie’s friends – Lily-Rae & Tyler & Jorja & Harry – all beautiful children although Harry decided that a career in modelling wasn’t for him in the end and spent most of the shoot glued to his Mum’s leg – nothing could bribe him to consider otherwise. Anyway after the shoot I was going through the images from the day and I was transported back to my past. I often look at photos of Gracie and remember Harriet when she was that age but I remembered a photo I took of her when she got her first backpack! I thought I’d share the pics with you! So here is Gracie with her Cole backpack….and Harriet 23 years ago with her backpack!
Have a great week everyone!